“where is my place in the world?”

I think a LOT of young adults, especially teenagers and twenty-something year olds, have an identity crisis and wonder where their particular place in the world is. Because as you come upon realizations, epiphanies and things like that, you know that the career you spouted out to the class in elementary was the career projected by your parents when you were younger (because it made a lot of money). We all know there’s no money in our dream jobs/careers/aspirations, there’s some truth to it but it’s just no really… feasible. If you’re a low income minority like myself [even if you aren’t and you just can relate] you don’t want to do the career your parents want for you, you don’t want something in the STEM field and you took your college’s career aptitude test a bunch of times, it’s generally pretty hard deciding where you want end up towards the later part of your life.

For myself, I’m a bit torn between doing something creative with writing or on the spectrum of beauty/art and a blossoming career in the human sciences field. The latter is easier due to my university’s “prestige” and “ease of access” towards jobs in the field with all of the connections, organizations and so forth. The former {if that’s right, i don’t really know} is something that’s always in the back of my mind, I do poetry and it’s always been an outlet I’ve received positivity. Others both online and offline think I have a talent for makeup, whether it’s on myself or others, but I would have to go to beauty school for hair/nails/makeup while still working on my youtube channel. Although those options are open and I could drop everything, move somewhere in the middle of nowhere and go to beauty school, it just doesn’t feel right. I would want a background of a “professional” career while juggling beauty school, I would be older but I just don’t know.

My entire life plan is kind of just up in the air and I would prefer it not to be. I don’t want to waste my remaining youth chasing dreams that couldn’t come to fruition. As sad as the sounds, a lot of other people in my “generation” are working their asses off and only do their “creative career” as a minor hobby now because they have to ensure a successful future. There are innovators out there, I can only imagine the raw creativity and inspiration they hold, that have diminished the idea of becoming an artist or performer because they need a “professional” career. Everything is so much pressure and work, there is no carefree lifestyle when there’s bills that need to be paid and an uncertain future to work for.